A Card Deck for Centeredness (Product Review)

Mindfulness, strengths-based work, contemplation, and similar wellness-oriented activities, especially with overlap in psychology, are major areas of interest for me. I also tend to be drawn to prayer card decks.

The Untethered Soul card deck from Michael A. Singer, based on his book of the same name, caught my attention as perhaps a more secular version of this interest. These 52 cards have short phrases to inspire and help center readers.

First off, the box and cards are very well made and beautiful in their own right. It doesn't feel like a cheap paper or cardboard container or deck set. It's something that looks nice on a desk, which is exactly how I use this one. I put the lid on the base at a 90 degree angle, providing a background and display a different card each week.

The image backgrounds have a good nature basis that can be used for contemplation and almost automatically provides some relaxation. The phrases, grouped into themes, can be encouragements, inspiration, or even questions encouraging reflection. One could easily just read through all the cards and move on with life, but that would miss the point. Sitting with them for contemplation and centering work is where they're useful.

As I suspected, they do have a more secular feel in many cases. However, some cards draw from various religious traditions, albeit lightly. If someone wants encouragement from a single tradition, you'll probably want to pass on this set. However, if you're open to considering wisdom from around the world, the phrases and considerations can be a useful foundation for contemplation and meditation.

The deck's trailer provides a bit more context:



This video makes the deck seem quite new age-y/self-help-like, and it can have that feel (positively or negatively, depending on your perspective). However, I have to say I think the promises in the video are more than a bit over-stated. No card deck or phrase will be truly transformative on its own. If you view the deck as an opportunity to remind yourself to be present and reflect, then it can be useful. But the sayings aren't necessarily any more inspirational or transformative than other decks. In fact, the lack of a firm spiritual tradition or psychological rootedness may make the deck and phrases appear to have less depth or "thickness."

In any case, this can be a nice gift for a loved one or even yourself. The benefit of it not being overtly spiritual is it can be used as a gift in many contexts.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this card deck free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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Book Review of Brother John: A journey for meaning

A book as a contemplative spiritual experience. That would be my summary of August Turak's Brother John, a formally published and beautifully illustrated version of an essay for which he was awarded a Templeton Prize.

While many contemplative and meaning-focused texts can be quite philosophical and/or self-help-like, Brother John is an excellent example of spiritual story telling. The fact that it's a true story makes it all the more powerful. Turak's story telling is a perfect example of a spiritual biography that can inspire and encourage.

Turak provides spiritual and philosophical reflection and insights without feeling preachy or heavy-handed. He shares his story. He shares his reflections. He shares his conclusions. He offers them to the reader in case they're helpful. I think most people will find them meaningful.

A big differentiator in the text is the addition of paintings throughout the book from Glenn Harrington. Here's a preview from the trailer:



The paintings helped me slow down and engage the book as a journey. I can easily tend towards scanning texts to gain the basic points of knowledge trying to be conveyed. That's the not the point of this book, at least from my perspective. It's meant for us to reflect. Hearing Turak's personal story gave me a sense of peace after reading and motivated me to personally engage in some slower contemplative activities that I tend to put off for achievement-oriented activities.

Overall, this book felt less like reading a book and more like an experience. It's short, so it can easily be read in a single sitting, easily less than 30 minutes. But the insights will stick around longer. And I believe it's a book with visuals that one could easily come back to repeatedly.

I have to note that I also love that Turak has given the rights and proceeds from the book to the Self Knowledge Symposium Foundation (SKSF), a group he founded with his prize to help build meaning and purpose throughout the West, especially in colleges. Buying the book not only provides the reader with spiritual wisdom, but can also financially support others' journeys as well.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

This page contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase through this link, we may receive a portion of the sale at no additional cost to you.

What Jobs Are Important?

As many around the nation saw, there has been a massive wildfire in Southern California. It seriously threatened my hometown, where my parents still live, so I watched it closely. Growing up in a mountain town, we had threatening fires almost annually. Although some were worse than others, this one was probably the worst (as many friends noted: never did we see the whole town evacuated).

During each of the fires, including this one, there was an outpouring of well-deserved appreciation for the fire fighters who saved the town. Their tireless efforts continue to impress us.

At the same time, working the public sector and having been involved in two national-headline-making disasters in the past year, I've also seen that there are MANY more people involved in disaster response than fire, police, and medical. There are a variety of departments, professions, and workers who are deployed 24/7 (often without the overtime and other well-deserved benefits of fire, police, and emergency medical personnel). These other individuals tirelessly help people put their lives back together, provide comfort and resources to those who need it, and help navigate bureaucracies. If you've never been in a disaster, these things may seem superfluous, but the aftermath of a disaster can actually be more traumatic than the disaster itself.

In some ways, I think we place importance on professions and work based on Maslow's hierarchy of needs, as those who support the basic things are most critical. Is that really fair or accurate? Frankly, losses in some of the higher levels lead people to suicide, so I wouldn't minimize things beyond basic life needs. Those who support disasters in traditional first responder roles are often recognized because of placing their safety on the line. This is not to be minimized. However, the implication is that psychological safety and other parts of life from other first responders are minimized. Being on call actively 24/7 for months on end to survivors of traumas is dangerous work and changes lives forever. It's quiet work, though, and rarely acknowledged.

So let's generalize this. We have a hierarchy for careers. I went into psychology for the meaning. I do believe it is meaningful, and therefore important, work. But how many jobs do we dismiss as "menial," fundamentally limiting their sense of importance and then the workers' sense of meaning? A classic example is a trash truck driver, a job few people would want. What would happen if this profession disappeared? We'd suddenly consider it important. What about amusement park ride operators or ticket takers? Sure, entertainment isn't important in a traditional view of Maslow's hierarchy. However, what would life be without any entertainment? I think it helps us bring meaning, order, and balance to our lives. And without workers to support these things, our lives would be significantly affected.

So do some people really have more important jobs? If so, what should we base importance on?

Meaning Without Transcendence?

This is the third in a series on meaning. A conversation I've had with others and is central to a universal concept of meaning is whether transcendence is needed for meaning. Viktor Frankl and others have argued that meaning is a central human need, and I'm inclined to agree.

There are many people who argue that transcendence is not at all necessary for meaning. They explain that they find meaning in simply enjoying the world around them, from sunsets to close relationships. However, nothing more than that is needed.

Others argue that such situations are insufficient. I'm in this camp. One way I'd phrase it is that survival for the sake the survival is not compelling nor meaningful. For me, there necessarily needs to be something more, something inherent, something transcendent to find meaning. That's where faith becomes central to me.

From the first perspective, having kids is important and meaningful only because that's just part of human nature, and we've evolutionarily been wired to have those drives. There's not necessarily anything transcendent about it, so just enjoy what biology has given us.

In the second perspective (using Christian language), God has used evolution to give us a desire for family because there is something inherently, transcendently meaningful about building life and relationships, and guiding little lives and character. Adoption is meaningful and relevant in this second context for me. I think it's harder to argue for in the first.

There's so much pain and destruction caused by humans that if there's nothing transcendent about them, then I find it hard to argue for our continued existence, frankly. But if there's something transcendent and valuable about all life, then we should continue on (and be good neighbors to our non-human friends).

What keeps me going is the faith that transcendence gives life and struggle meaning. I really have trouble understanding finding meaning without that. How about you? Do you find that meaning requires transcendence?

Meaning in Tradition

Continuing my series on reflections on meaning, I want to consider the idea of tradition. Last week, I talked about the limited value I've increasingly seen in church services. I've reflected before that I have trouble understanding why people continue singing songs that sound like funeral dirges with affect that matches. Extreme structure and routine that is devoid of passion just doesn't strike me as compelling.

However, what seems to be a driving force for many is tradition. In various settings, I've heard people talk about being motivated to engage in an activity that others have done for decades, centuries, or millennia. Sometimes it's about doing the same thing others are doing at the same time around the globe. I find the latter more compelling because it emphasizes global unity, which is significant in many ways.

For one reason or another, I just have never been able to experience meaning or emotion connected to tradition. I've come to really appreciate some of the more historical images and processes, but not because of tradition; because of knowing that each element of an icon is intentionally placed and means something. But structuring a service or singing a particular song because others have done it before us just isn't compelling to me.

Maybe it goes back to my sense of meaning needing a relational and/or transformational quality. I just don't see either happening attached to tradition for the sake of tradition. That doesn't mean tradition is bad, but sometimes we can get too rigidly attached to it because that's how we've always done it. Perhaps there's a more effective or meaningful way...

Meaning in Church

I put a lot of emphasis on meaning-making, for better or for worse. My heart feels at home with Viktor Frankl's logotherapy orientation, focused on meaning as the way to deal with psychological problems. And I pursued a career in psychology because I saw it having more meaning for me than other paths. So this will start a little series on reflections on meaning.

Most people would agree a major component of church and religion is to contribute to meaning. But how does it contribute to meaning? Does everyone even want meaning from church or its analogues?

When people think of church, they often think of certain songs and sermons. Style preferences can create great debate and even schisms. What I've come to realize over the years is that the "service" (I still don't like that word, thanks to the criticisms of it from the emerging church conversation) doesn't give much meaning to me. I can enjoy them, but they're not really transformative or filled with meaning.

Even in writing that sentence, I realize that central to meaning for me is some process of transformation. If no transformation of any kind occurs, can there be meaning? Songs and sermons can be stimulating in a variety of ways and encourage us to do things differently, but I have a hard time believing that they are the primary drivers of true change.

Relationships cause change. Change occurs within relationships. This is the core of the interpersonal approach to psychotherapy, which has some strong evidence base. Church services really aren't about relationship, for better or for worse.

It's been many years since I've felt like I've found much meaning in that hour (or so) on Sunday mornings, and it's not for lack of good music and speaking. I have found much more meaning in conversations, discussions, and ways of living life together.

Where do you find meaning in your faith practice? Not enjoyment, pleasure, or confidence, but actual meaning that's long-lasting?

What Causes Happiness?

On Saturday, my wife and I got to see a performance of Les Miserables in Riverside (which was excellent, by the way). On the way home, someone had graffitied a freeway underpass with "Happiness follows right living." I found it rather ironic that we saw that right after Les Miz. As Laci said, "That's Javert."

"Right living" (if groups of people can even come to a clear consensus on that) can lead to fewer problems in life. From that perspective, it matches up with some research indicating earning up to $75-80,000 per year increases happiness. The explanation is that basic needs are met, which lowers anxiety and therefore can increase happiness. So it makes sense that happiness could be increased by causing fewer problems for ourselves.

Let's take Les Miz again as an example. Valjean made some mistakes. They definitely impacted his happiness. But it wasn't right living that improved his happiness. It was being given compassionate grace when he didn't deserve it, didn't ask for it, and didn't even do something to accept it. And I would argue the ultimate right living that led to happiness was giving love and grace.

Contrast that with Javert, the quintessential Pharisee. He, like Paul, lived according to the law as best as any human could. He was blameless. But was he happy? Not at all.

In fact, the climax of the Valjean/Javert storyline is focused around this topic of right living. Javert has lived rightly in his definition--according to the law. But he has virtually nothing to show for it. In contrast, Valjean has not lived rightly. But he has thrived. He has made a meaningful life for himself. This is what completely confounds Javert--he believes once a criminal, always a criminal.

Many people, especially with Christianity, believe that if we do everything right, things will work out great. There is some truth to it, but I've seen (and experienced) my fair share of this formula not working. Right living does not necessarily lead to happiness.

The other consideration is the relationship of happiness and meaning. We discussed this in Sunday school last week, and there's some good research articles on the topic. Ultimately, I would argue meaning is more important than happiness and can lead to happiness, but happiness won't lead to meaning. I'm not convinced rule following or right living will lead to meaning, either. That doesn't mean we break rules--they are there for a reason.

I would propose that we need to recognize the law and rules for what they are: Something practical to help social cohesion and dynamics. But right living is not about law. Rather, I would argue that Christians should define right living in terms of love. To quote the end of Les Miz: "To love another person is to see the face of God." That sometimes means breaking some rules. And love is central to meaning-making (both philosophically and from research).

I would rather break a rule in favor of love and compassion and thus make meaning at the expense of some happiness and comfort than maintain the law and live like Javert.

Is There Always Meaning?

My preferred theoretical orientation in psychotherapy is existential, especially in line with Viktor Frankl's logotherapy (meaning through therapy or therapy through meaning). I find meaning very important in my personal life, as well. I don't see a reason to keep going and live without meaning. In one of my classes, we discussed different creation explanations (from young earth to secular evolution). One of my issues with the randomness principle in evolution is that if everything really is random, then what purpose is there in life? Why would I want to continue living?

Ultimately, I have faith that there is meaning. I assume there is a reason, a purpose, behind everything, even if I cannot ever figure it out. That is not the same as saying that God is responsible for everything that happens. I'm not an uber-Calvinist, like Piper (see some of my other posts on that :) ). But I do firmly believe that God works good through all things (as in Romans 8:28). This is a way of finding meaning.

However, I've had some struggles with that lately. From our first failed adoption, we lost some money (a good chunk more now that we had to hire a second lawyer for our current match). At the same time, we soothed ourselves by recognizing the failed match could have been far worse (and it's definitely true). Yet I still struggle finding the meaning in that. What good came of it?

I'm associating meaning with good coming out of the situation. Is that always the case? Perhaps it's an incorrect connection. Although I find meaning good.

The only thing I can come up with is that the mom hopefully experienced some love and grace from us. It was really complete loss for us, but if she needed that incarnational love, then there was meaning and good.

Another situation that has had me thinking along these terms is getting scammed with a home repair. Very long story short, we had our air ducts replaced (I do think that was needed). But now the company is failing to honor its warranty. It looks like they're a complete scam, lying about licensure, etc. Actually, the state contractors license board is going after them.

So human legal justice may be done (although I doubt we'll get our large amount paid to them back). But is there meaning? Legal justice doesn't provide meaning. And it doesn't promise "good." What good can come of this situation?

One thing that hit me in the last few days was that perhaps these people really needed the money more than us. While we're not rolling in the dough, most Americans are in the top 1% of the world's income, as our pastor noted this Sunday. We can pay the bills, which I am thankful for. While it was not the right way to get money, some people are desperate. Perhaps this was a way of feeding a child. Although I don't want this "company" taking advantage of others in the future.

I think in both of these cases, God is also teaching me to rely on him more to have faith that we will be financially taken care of. Money has been tight, especially with our adoption. Yet I keep getting adjunct teaching jobs (I've had to turn some down). We haven't had to skip a mortgage payment or even be late. Yet I'm still worried we won't be able to pay for everything. I think there's validity in the concern, but frequently worrying about finances is no way to live. Perhaps the meaning and good is God helping take that pressure off of me (it's not gone yet :) ).

Or perhaps some things are just random, crappy, and due to a fallen world. Maybe there isn't "good" meaning in everything.

The Heart of a Pastor @christianaudio @caReviewers

A couple of weeks ago, I posted an initial review of Eugene Peterson's memoir, The Pastor. I have finally finished it and absolutely loved it. While I am not in the role of professional clergy, this book hit home to me. If you want to know what my heart is as a psychologist and where I find meaning in life, read this book.

Peterson's book is a perfect example of how amazing of a writer he is. His prose becomes beautifully poetic (and I'm one who generally dislikes poems) with vivid imagery. In the afterward, a letter to a young pastor, he stated that he does not feel like he is a pastor of great achievement. While he did translate The Message Bible and has written many books, I got the sense from reading this that he is not your typical uber-famous Christian who has met the world's standards of success.

Yes, Peterson has had some of that, but he writes not to be famous, but because that is his love and passion. In fact, his personal testimony about the development of The Message makes me love and appreciate it all the more.

But returning to his pastoral work, this is where he finds his primary identity, with the writing elements being more of a supplement to that work. As a pastor, he led a flock of about 500 by the time he left. That's large compared to many institutions, but quite modest compared to those congregations of the best selling authors. And Peterson seemed to have no problem with the size. In fact, he indicated that he didn't want it bigger. He was satisfied with his work, and it showed through his heart and the true, lasting transformation that occurred in his community.

As a psychologist who definitely can be tempted by trying to achieve widespread notoriety, this tome reminded me of the power of daily, incarnational work that we all do on a daily basis. Our daily relationships and connections are what counts. Peterson knows that and lived it. And I have been blessed by his testimony of that life.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the christianaudio.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”