Celebrate Respect, Not Fear

As we celebrate Independence Day in the midst of election season, our country is again examining how it is viewed through the rest of the world. Most of us want the US to be respected. Some view respect through the lens of fear. In fact, I saw a comment online that we need a leader that will lead other countries to be terrified of us.

Yet fear is not productive in building relationships or moving forward. I guess some people don't care about that. But let's remember the purpose of fear--its function is to keep us alive when threatened. The classic responses are to fight or flee. How is that helpful long-term or in relationships? It's not. It's highly destructive. Fear is very useful when a bear is coming at you, but that will also mean you won't be an ally of that bear unless your whole world is built upon power and ensuring you're on top. That's a precarious position.

I hear people essentially equate fear and respect in kids towards adults. We must remember that what we often see as respect for adults or other isn't actually respect. It's fear, so a child stays quiet. There is not necessarily an attitude of respect. Behavioral respect without attitudinal respect is quite problematic.

Ultimately, fear-based relationships are immature, unskilled power plays. When we are unable to adequately express ourselves and our emotions and do not have the skills to regulate those emotions effectively, we default to primal-based actions of aggression.

Think of the toddler who doesn't get their way. They can't regulate and don't know what to do but yell and hit, which doesn't lead to anything good. As we grow and mature, hopefully we learn skills of emotional expression and regulation as well as effective behavioral responses that are beneficial for us and for other. That's what leads to positive relationships and mutual respect. Aggression and fear leads to mutually assured destruction.

Which would you rather have?

Biblical Context

This past week there were two good (and very different) blog posts about biblical interpretation and the importance of context.

The first is from BioLogos on lack of evidence intra- and extra-biblically for inerrancy. The thing I love about BioLogos and this particular post is that they challenge our traditional assumptions, but do not give up on the sanctity and holiness of the Bible. It's just approaching it differently.

So many people take hard-line stances on things like biblical interpretation because they feel that if their particular method of interpretation is wrong, then their whole faith disappears. This doesn't have to be the case, which is a major purpose of this blog... And unfortunately, taking a hard-line stance often removes context from interpretation, which actually makes our faith less accurate, in my opinion.

The second article is by Dan Kimball, in which is uses the analogy of Scary Mary applied to the Bible. I'd never heard of Scary Mary, but it's a remix of scenes from Mary Poppins to make the movie look terrifying. Kimball includes the video in his post, so you can see it there.

It's an excellent analogy, though, of how removing the context from a excerpt of something drastically changes its meaning. Yet we do that frequently with the Bible, to the detriment of everyone...

66 Love Letters Lenten Devotions

I have subscribed to Larry Crabb's Lenten devotional from his 66 Love Letters. Some are definitely better than others, but today's (Day 19) is particularly relevant for this blog, I think. You can see the archive of all devotionals here, although Day 19 was not quite posted yet as of this writing (I'm guessing it will be posted soon).

Motivated by Fear

As I'm continuing to study for my licensing exam, I came across some information from social psychology on persuasion. While logic- and reason-based arguments can be effective, so can emotional arguments, particularly fear. To make it the most convincing, the message much create a ton of fear, be believable, and include specific ways of avoiding the bad stuff.

Hmmm. Sound like anything that happens in Christianity sometimes? Like hell, fire, and brimstone messages? It makes me look at this message from John Piper even more skeptically.