Church as Community

As my wife and I have explored entering a new church organization (to get to a local church community), we have reflected a lot on what church means and what needs get met in a church and what we really want in a church. I've posted a few times on this in the last few months. Here are some of my latest thoughts.

One of the things I knew but has been re-emphasized is that Sunday morning really is not all that important. True, the group worship "service" (I hate that word to describe the gatherings, though I use it myself--we are not "servicing" people or God--we are gathering to worship and commune) is important for bringing groups of Christians together. Without those gatherings, it is hard to join a new community.

However, beyond that, they're really becoming more of an obligation to me. I think this is because in most communities, this time is all focused on teaching, on information. I miss the worship, the communing with God, the experiential piece. Sure, there's music. Sure, there's prayer. That's not necessarily worship.

In fact, my wife and I have missed several weeks of Sunday gatherings. We sometimes will watch it online, but honestly, we don't feel like we miss much by missing. The announcements are the biggest thing we miss, and we can get those online.

Interestingly, a few weeks ago, we were late, so we sat in the Family Lounge so as not to enter the main sanctuary and interrupt anyone. There were only two other families there, and we had to watch the whole gathering on a TV screen (what's the difference between that and watching from home? I don't like going someplace only to watch a talking head on a screen.). However, it was probably my favorite Sunday yet. Why? Because it felt more like community as we smiled at the babies and their parents and actually felt like there was a connection between those around us. In contrast, on "normal" Sundays, when we go to the main sanctuary, I feel like I'm at the movie theater or a concert. I feel no connection to anyone else around me.

Community is important. THAT is the point of the large gatherings. Yet we suck at it.

That is why small group IS so important to us. I hate missing one. THAT feels more like church than anything else. As many people before me have said, that IS church because we ARE the church. We need to remember that. That living together and sharing each others' lives is so much more important than learning a nice lesson on a Scripture passage that you will forget an hour later.

Anger, Part II

Several months ago, I had a post on anger. I thought it was appropriate to do a follow-up because it's an issue that has been a part of the reactions to the Cathedral's decisions and was the topic of Bobby's message on Sunday.

As I said before, anger is a touchy subject in Christianity. We often assume it's bad. One of the things Bobby said that I appreciated on Sunday was separating the emotion of anger from the action of anger, the latter which tends to fester. I think it's an important distinction because we often confuse the complexities of emotions and our psychologies.

In fact, I realized today that I think, while psychologists often simplify spirituality, Christians often simplify our psychologies. Things aren't just as simple as anger can destroy. Can it? Absolutely. It also serves a very important, good function in our lives.

But where is the line?

That's something I've considered a lot of the last several months while the Cathedral has imploded. I have experienced a lot of anger. One thing Bobby mentioned was holding onto anger. One way we often try not to hold onto anger is by not feeling it. I argue that that is unhealthy and ironically is how we hold onto the anger. By ignoring it, we repress it, and it begins to fester inside of us until more builds up and it finally explodes. In contrast, if we can express it (in healthy ways) as we experience it, we can use the emotion of anger constructively and do not live by it.

So what if we express it and still feel anger? We often assume we are doing something wrong, like we haven't forgiven the other person well enough. That's not necessarily the case.

As wrongs continue, we continue to be angered. In the case of the Cathedral, wrongs were continually being committed (and still are). People were (and are) continuing to be hurt. That justifies continued anger. It wasn't just a one-time event to "get over." It was a continual assault. There was also a sense of betrayal on many levels, which causes even deeper pain and anger, which I believe is completely appropriate. We can deal with that anger by taking action, but most of us could do nothing but sit back and watch it all implode. That does not help the expression of the emotions. Sometimes we truly cannot right a wrong. It is not in our power. We have to find a way to resolve the issue in our psyche, then, sometimes with the help of a professional.

However, I maintain that continued anger is not necessarily bad, again, as long we don't live from it and make all of our decisions from it, as Bobby discussed during the message.

In the next couple of days, I'll also discuss forgiveness, boundaries, and praying for the success of an enemy.

Changes

The have been a lot of changes of the last couple of months at The Gathering and the Crystal Cathedral. The biggest for our community was announced today as we plan to move off campus from the Cathedral by May. As Bobby mentioned during the Town Hall meeting, this move is not reactionary to poor decisions by the Cathedral leadership, but by a move toward a vision that the leadership of The Gathering believes can only be achieved by moving. Bobby stated that we have discussed such a decision numerous times over the past 2 years. In fact, I think it's been discussed much longer; almost since the beginning! :) We unanimously believe the timing now is right to make the move. The firing of Robert A. (okay, technically he resigned, but...) was a confirmation of that decision.

At the same time, there is pain, hurt, and anger about decisions made by the Cathedral leadership, and The Gathering's eldership has struggled with how to deal with these reactions. There is a pull to make this move be reactionary and hateful. I would even argue there is good, just reason for that. However, I also agree with our conclusion, led by Bobby, that that will not be a good reason to make a move. It is not what we want to be about nor how we want to define ourselves.

So what do we do with these feelings and emotions? Some say feed them. Others say forgive and ignore. I don't know the full answer, but I'm going to write a couple of posts delving into some of the aspects and have them post of the next couple of days. The point of this is not gossip, but rather to use a struggle we are having in order to explore struggles the Christian Church has every day in various ways. Please give me feedback as we go along!

Message Links

I've been sick the past week :-/ and so haven't continued the last series on conflict. Because I gave the message at The Gathering Sunday, I may spend some time going deeper into some of the points from that. If you would like to listen to the message, you can download it through The Gathering podcast. Until then, here are some links to material presented Sunday:

Video Clips:
Walk the Line - Marriage for Life
Antwone Fisher - I Owe You
Antwone Fisher - Welcome

The stages of change diagram is available here, as is additional information on the stages of change.