Money and Social Work

Continuing the discussion of the role of money, particularly in the church, I want to make some comments about the relationship of money and social work.

We have several people in Nepal right now on a medical mission providing eye glasses and medicine to the Nepalese people. A few days ago, I had an interesting conversation with a wonderful lady in our church who was born and raised in Indonesia (and she is ethnically Indonesian). She commented that many people to whom we provide missions work don't need our help because they are happy. She used herself as an example, commenting how all the men in her country were gone to war when she was little. The women had to try to make a living to keep their families alive. They had no money. They would be the perfect candidate for a honorable church mission trip. Yet they were happy. They did not feel like they were missing anything.

I commented back to her that we (Americans) are, in fact, the ones who are in need of help and happiness because we need money to make us happy. She just smiled and nodded. Not that money is necessarily bad (or the root of all evil). But I get quite frustrated when we believe money can solves all problems. That seems to be the case in a lot of social justice work (and mission work). Throw some money at people or a cause, and the problem will be solved (at least our consciences will be clear since we helped someone).

Is that really helping others? Seriously?

One of the things I really appreciated going to Isaiah House a couple of weeks ago was what Ander said about what helped people. It isn't giving people food (the official work we do there). It is relationships. Amen! One of the reasons I don't like getting involved with a lot of social justice work is superficiality of it all. Throw money and concrete stuff at people, and you've change them, made them equals, and fixed their problems. Ha! Relationships do that, not money. I appreciate that Ander has the right perspective.

For-profit and non-profit

As I moved from the student world to the "real world," I've been the influence of money a lot more. Recently, my classmates and I were in one of those lovely all-day seminars (on a Saturday, no less) for school. It was about non-profit business management, as many psychologists go on to run non-profits. As we all know, money is essential for living in today's time. I find that unfortunately because it moves our focus off the truly important pursuits.

Anyway, I've been struggling a lot recently with the influence of money and when it is legitimate (and necessary) to have earning money be a priority. I have always thought it needs to be something to be considered, but should not be at the top of a priority list. I always thought companies were interested in bettering the world and making better products (i.e. a computer company's main goal should be to make a better computer with making more money a nice benefit from that). However, our speaker emphasized that the difference between for-profit and not-for-profit businesses is just that: The former's primary goal is to make money.

I cannot wrap my mind around that. While basically the purpose of all of my jobs has been to make money, it was also a means to an end--to get myself through school, for instance. That feels different than creating a career and company out of the pursuit of money. Is there ever a time that is okay and acceptable, particularly for a Christian?

I have also been learning that despite the designation of not-for-profit, such organizations have money as a major priority. Granted, some of it is needed to survive. Money is necessary to do good work a lot. But when does raising that money cloud the objective of doing good work? How do we try to maintain proper priorities? I'd love some insights on this...

The Purpose of Blogging

When I started this blog, I had high hopes of having regular posts that would form various series of topics (like my attempt on peacemaking). With the end of school, posting became a burden, with one more thing to do to try and write a coherent post that would be brilliant, insightful, and inspirational.

I thought the purpose of a blog was to make a major difference in the world. But is that really the purpose? I saw a t-shirt on a website recently that said, "More people have read this shirt than your blog." I laughed out loud when I read that. And believe it or not, I didn't really care that that was true in my case. I don't know if anyone reads this.

Which gets to my question of what is the purpose of blogging, at least for me. My goal here has been to get people to think and get into dialogue about difficult topics. That doesn't mean I have to have the answers or even insightful comments. That just puts performance pressure on me.

That's one of my biggest struggles: Performance and perfectionism. I read this interview with the director of WALL•E, in which he discusses how with Toy Story, they attempted to please the Disney execs. And the project was almost cancelled. The Pixar people then went back and made the movie they wanted. The result was the smash success we all know.

It's amazing what happens when we listen to hearts versus our heads of what to do next. Whenever I have caught myself in this struggle and moved toward listening more to my heart, I've been told I make much more of an impact on people.

So that's my goal here. I'm going to try to stop performing and just post whatever is on my mind and heart, even if it's not in a well-thought-out series of brilliant insights. Maybe it'll get someone to think. And if no one else reads it, at least it's helped me to think and process my own thoughts and struggles...

As an adjunct to this, I've included a new box on my blog that has other articles and blog that I have "shared." I may comment, I may not, but they're things that I think are interesting, often to get people to think. And feel. I hope... :)

First Professional Publication

My first professional publication is now available from Ashgate. I contributed to a chapter in the new book, Religion and the Individual.

Our chapter discusses exemplar Muslim and Christian interfaith peacemakers from around the world. We were invited to contribute our work to this book after a presentation in the UK.

Just had to brag... :)

Message Links

I've been sick the past week :-/ and so haven't continued the last series on conflict. Because I gave the message at The Gathering Sunday, I may spend some time going deeper into some of the points from that. If you would like to listen to the message, you can download it through The Gathering podcast. Until then, here are some links to material presented Sunday:

Video Clips:
Walk the Line - Marriage for Life
Antwone Fisher - I Owe You
Antwone Fisher - Welcome

The stages of change diagram is available here, as is additional information on the stages of change.

Shame and Guilt

One of the things I mentioned in the last post was that shame can be an underlying emotion of anger. Shame is a powerful feeling in our society, and it motivates us in a variety of ways. I would say that shame is always bad. But shouldn't we feel ashamed when we do something bad? No, we should feel guilt, not shame.

In the field of psychology, we generally distinguish between these two terms. Guilt says, "I did something bad." Shame says, "I am bad." That can appear like a subtle difference, but it is actually huge. Guilt comments on our actions and behaviors, but shame comments on our identities, who we are. And it comments negatively, tearing us down, making us worthless.

Bad theology may say that God thinks we are worthless, but good theology promotes the eternal, infinite value in people. Bruce Narramore made an excellent biblical, theological, and psychological argument against using shame and condemnation as a motivational tool. As my undergrad pastor stated, all people are "made and loved by God."

Viewing ourselves and others that way will radically change our outlook on life, the world, and relationships. We can feel "Godly sorrow" for something we did, but that does not mean we are worthless. And because someone else did something wrong, that does not mean they are worthless. In fact, particularly because of Christ's sacrifice, despite all of these actions, we are all infinitely valuable.

Take a moment and think about a person with whom you have had a conflict. Or someone you dislike. Imagine them. What are you feeling toward them? Now say, "___ is made and loved by God." Repeat that. What do you notice about your feelings? Anything? I wonder what would happen if we approached all conflicts with this perspective?

Under Anger

Sometimes anger is truly anger. However, anger is often a mask for another feeling. In a conflict, it is important to recognize what the true feeling(s) really is.

Why, you may ask, is anger a cover-up for something else? Well, the current consensus is usually because of social acceptability. Anger is often a more acceptable emotion than other feelings.

But wait, Josh! Yesterday, you said anger is not an acceptable emotion in society. Okay, you're right. It's both acceptable and not acceptable. Don't you love social norms, culture, and emotions? So here's my best explanation. Anger is often not acceptable, particularly in Christian circles because it is seen as aggressive (which is viewed as a negative), immature, and out-of-control. Additionally, being angry means we are not in touch with God's peace. On the other hand, particularly for American men, feelings like sadness, fear, shame, etc. are viewed as signs of weakness. How many men (or women) want to appear weak? Anger is not viewed as weak, but rather strong. Therefore, if we feel sad, scared, or shameful, we may become angry in order to express an emotion that is more socially acceptable, or at least so that we will become more accepted.

This creates a major problem, though. If we believe we are angry and express anger, other will react to the anger, and all solutions to the situation will focus on the anger. However, if anger is not really the problem, then these solutions will be fruitless. We may, in fact, need to grieve or cry or be affirmed. Anger does not usually elicit responses or even thoughts to these experiences.

If you are experiencing anger, take a moment and try to see if you're feeling something else. Was I hurt recently? Am I scared? Perhaps not. You may be legitimately (and validly) angry. But if there's something more, try to figure out what it is. It may help conflict.